Werewolf Contingency Plans

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Imagine you’re out camping in the woods at night when a haunting cry echoes through the trees. You consider running, but are frozen in place by an animalistic growl. Emerging from the dark is a creature straight from legend – the werewolf.

What do you do? Run for your life and try to make it to the car – never happen – or pull out your trusted .44 Magnum and offload six wonderful rounds of pure silver into its hairy ass, because unlike other potential victims you had the good sense to prepare a werewolf contingency plan.

Werewolves have been amongst us for centuries. Perhaps they’ve always been here, waiting in the shadows, ready to pounce.

Earliest mentions of the werewolf stem from the Greek legends of the Arcadian king, Lycaon, who was transformed into a wolf-man by the god Zeus after Lycaon tried to serve him human flesh. But to be fair, werewolves didn’t hit their stride until the Middle Ages where superstition and ignorance were the order of the day. In this festering pot of paranoia and indifference the werewolf thrived. Untold hundreds were murdered for lycanthropy or consulting with the devil. It seemed for a while you couldn’t pop down to the local butchers without being attacked by a werewolf or two.

Think of all those deaths that could have been avoided if only they’d put a little planning into their full moon excursions.

1: Know your enemy.

Werewolves come in different forms, shapes, and sizes. If we focus on the main three and ignore for now the hundreds of sub-types: such as weresharks and the infamous werechicken.

  • The ‘classic’ wolf form. No in-between stages with these guys, sorry Hollywood, the classic takes on the form of a wolf only.  But even so, in this form they can be savage, feral animals capable of rending you limb from limb.  That aside, they do have common distinguishing characteristics. Typically, a werewolf will be bigger than the average wolf; it will be stronger, faster, and more cunning. It will also have human traits, most noticeably human eyes. Its paws may resemble hands, or when it howls to the moon it may contain a certain human quality.

The Hybrid. Otherwise known as the wolf man. This is the one type of werewolf you don’t want to meet in a dark alley. The hybrid has been popularised in film over the last century. Lon Chaney’s notable performance catapulted the wolf man to star status and this type of werewolf continues to be popular to this day. And its easy to see why, as a tool for ramping up fear, the wolf man is visually your guy. There’s no mistaking a hybrid for what it is.

  • The Wannabe. Perhaps the most dangerous of all. The wannabe is a man who believes himself to be a werewolf, but is in fact merely human. He suffers under the recognised medical condition of lycanthropy. Looking just like me or you, the lycanthrope can pass in every day society, but come the night of the full moon and he changes. The fur grows on the inside. However, this killer will give clues to what he really is. He may be a bit of a loner, hang around in graveyards, prefer bloody meat, occasionally wear the hide of a wolf and dance to some exotic god or other.
  • But don’t forget, werewolves can also be recognised in their human forms. They have bushy eyebrows that meet in the middle. Blood-red fingernails are long and almond shaped. Skin may be overly hairy or patchy with a yellow or green cast.

2: How does one become a werewolf?

  • Curse: Victim of witchcraft or cursed by spirits.
  • Bitten by Werewolf: Passed through the salvia of the bite.
  • Putting on Wolf Skin: Seems a bit too simple, but if it’s not broken, don’t fix it.
  • Worshiping the Devil: Enter into a pact with the devil, usually for a little thing such as your eternal soul, and you too could become a savage inhuman beast and prey on those people who threw turnips at you in the town square.
  • Magic Potions:  Rub your elixir across your private and neither-me-dos and hey-presto instant werewolf. Be careful though, the typical ingredients consist of nightshade, belladonna, henbane, Pig fat, turpentine and olive oil, so it may burn . . .
  • Rituals: Never let it be said that werewolves don’t know how to party. Typically this involved more of that magic ointment stuff, prayers to the Devil, possible fornication with small, defenceless animals, and once again its savage killer time.

3: Enough already, you’re creeping me out; just tell me how to kill a werewolf?

Silver is the metal of choice when fighting off hoards of ravenous lycanthropes. Silver is supposed to contain magical properties, and perhaps it’s the magic in silver that reacts to the magic of the werewolf curse, or maybe it’s a good plot device to keep the story moving along. Who am I to say? Different metals have often warded off evil in legend. Iron supposedly kills off fairies – good, can’t stand the little buggers, they stick in my teeth.

But if you’re fresh out of silver, then don’t despair, a werewolf can also be killed by removing its brain or heart and is repulsed by wolfsbane – otherwise known as Devil’s helmet.

So when next out camping in the woods take along your wolfsbane and perhaps a silver cane. If the werewolf puts in an appearance throw your wolfsbane at the beast and while it suffers an extreme allergic reaction bash out its brains with your silver stick. Easy as! Alternatively when all else fails, pull out your magic potion and get rubbing.

Because if you can’t beat them . . .

 

26 responses »

    • John Landis’s American Werewolf is worthy of a post in its own right. An all-time classic which redefined the genre and raised the bar for all subsequent werewolf movies to come. Was it ever beaten? Nothing springs to mind, certainly not the disappointing sequel.

      But in keeping with werewolf types, I’d say type 2: the hybrid. Based on the expanded mythology of the sequel actually, where the werewolves move between standing and being on all fours. But if we stuck with the original material then it would be quite difficult to pin down as either classic or hybrid. I would lean more towards hybrid, as it didn’t seem very wolfish. More demonic. :-)

  1. Pingback: Werewolf Contingency Plans « Neil John Buchanan's Journal | Business Continuity Jobs

  2. Pingback: Werewolf Photos | Pafos Photos

  3. satan already tried and got his butt kicked,but here is a real plan give your life to christ because time is running out, and yes i am a real jesus freak!!!

  4. you know i also forgot to ask,along with the werewolf legend,are there any other werecreature types? the reason i ask is because i am doing research for a monster based pen and paper role playing game i intend to make, also which is more powerfull a werewolf or a wolfman or are they the same?

    • Throughout history there have been legends of humans transforming into different animal types. Not just wolves, although they are the most popular. The legendary Kitsune are a firm favorite of mine. Foxes that can assume the shape of women. Then there’s the legend of Nanue the shark man. I think for purposes of a role playing game the imagination’s the limit. Best of luck.

      And a hybrid could take a classic werewolf in a fair fight. But if there was a pack involved . . .

  5. thank you for the information,the nanue shark man would be one ferocious creature, tough skin and crushing jaws filled with razor sharp teeth! and on top of that he can breathe underwater! man i just thought what if he was a white pointer (great white)… brutal!!

    • Hi, Trav.

      Hybrids are humanoid werewolves made popular in films such as: Howling, Dog Soldiers, Underworld, and the Wolf-Man. Typically, they stand upright with a human-like body and a wolf’s head.

  6. well,most people believe in werewolves. but most people want to know if it is real. and most people think that they’er monsters that just go around and kill people. but in my mind were wolves are graceful and caring of man kind. and that is why they roam the earth. is to protect.

    • im sorry to say a true werewolf as far as peaceful would make a better cat, most werewolves dont typically want to hurt us but have no control over their wolf counterpart. the good news is there exist potions (not elixirs) to help bestow control, the ones that do want to hurt us are known as shadoe-demons, (erazers) they love killing and torturing humans to the point that they can transform at will for up to 48 1/2 minutes. hopefully this was helpful

  7. hey, I saw the photos. so, you think that werewolves look like THAT? well what I think werewolves look like would be like brown black or white fur that have short hind legs that they can stand on but have long muscular arms that they can still run on all fours. but carry weapons such as swords bow and arrows or daggers in case of danger.

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